"On her tongue is the law of kindness..."

"On her tongue is the law of kindness..."

Thursday, June 17, 2010

What All Newlyweds Should Know

This list comes complete with an experience on behalf of Kevin and myself, which garnered each item's placement... I will be updating it as we go. Enjoy.

(1) When moving into your new apartment, get used to the fact that you will be making multiple trips to the grocery store. Most often, these trips will proceed a conversation such as this, "Me: Can you grab the tomato sauce out of the pantry. I'm ready for it. Him: Yeah, sure. There you go. Me: (while staring blankly at the can of tomato sauce) We don't have a can opener."
(2) When using your bakeware for the first time, a "gas" smell that might make you turn off the stove and call every relative on what to do when your stovetop smells like gas may occur. This is most often the result of cooking with a new pot. And besides, your stovetop is electric.
(3) Communicate. You and your new spouse are merging lives and you don't have the same habits. Communication will be key in handling conflicts of habit in terms of money, credit cards, monthly spending/budgeting, cooking vs. eating out, amount of time you each want to spend with extended family, whether you want a tv in the bedroom, whether you want to sit at the dinner table for meals or in front of the tv, importance of sweets and sugar in the house, etc. Often, your actions on these topics are habitual and you don't necessarily take the time to think of why you do what you do - same for your spouse. The most important thing is to communicate your expectations to one another and find a compromise. You can't change what you don't acknowledge.
(4) You will not necessarily love the same grocery stores. Kevin has become FASCINATED with the dollar store, while I have had a love of Target since high school. Compromise: what the dollar store has, we will buy. What the dollar store doesn't have, Target will and we shall run wild and free through the aisles.
(5) Thank You Notes are Required. Yes, there is alot to do during your engagement, wedding planning, shower attending, wedding, honeymoon, and getting settled in - BUT that is still NO excuse to neglect thank you cards for gifts, those who helped you during your wedding, your wedding party, and parents. Thank you cards are a necessity because they do take time - those who receive a thank you note in the mail know that you had things to do, but that you chose to take time to hand write a note to thank them. When time passes, people won't necessarily always remember that you wrote them a thank you note, but they sure will if you fail to send one.
(6) Hold the Opinions, Please. There is no doubt that the two of you will be inundated with opinions - everything from what insurance company you should choose to what your monthly payments on all of your bills should be. It is wonderful to have a great support system around you and to use their wisdom, but, ultimately YOU BOTH have to live with the decisions that are made, not anyone offering their opinion. So, listen to those who have gone before you and use their information, and your own investigating, to make the best decision for the two of you. You are the only two who know what you feel comfortable paying each month and what is of the most importance to the two of you.
(7) Your foundation is crucial. As newlyweds you will be making quite a few decisions, refiguring your lives to best coincide with how your wish to live. The most important aspect of this transition is the base for your decisions - what is your foundation and the purpose behind all of the decisions you make? write it down, revisit it often, and always remind yourself when any heavy decisions come up in your life - how you do anything is how you do everything, so make sure the consistency of your decisions does not waiver because you are focusing on the circumstances that surround you.
(8) watch your words. your words hold power and life, and what you choose to speak over your marriage, your spouse, your relationships, your home, your health, your finances, is seed for your future. there is never an excuse or a reason to speak ill words over your spouse or your relationship - this is your lifeline, you are joined as one, and you will see the fruit of the words that you speak. choose wisely and intentionally.

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