a little insight

i am reading "searching for God know's what" by donald miller and although i am fewer than 50 pages into it, miller mentioned something that is sitting pretty heavily on my heart. he talks about how there was a time in his life where he became upset with God, only to realize later that it wasn't God who he was upset with but the individuals who falsely and improperly represented Him - individuals who proclaimed it was God's hatred for mankind, a particular sexual orientation, or a specific ethnicity that caused 9/11; or, individuals who take bits and pieces of the Bible to twist for their own use, negating the actual message proclaimed within the scripture itself. How he became upset with individuals who misrepresented what he knew to be true.
On Easter Sunday a group of protesters gathered outside my church, picketing the message proclaimed within the walls. Signs and posters stating, "Jesus Kills" and "This church leads to hell" were held in the hands of men and women wearing "God loves you" t-shirts. Naturally, an intense emotion of protection rose up in my heart. How could someone falsify the very nature of God. I became intensely protective, knowing that it was God's Word, His nature, that has physically healed, saved, and rescued my friends and family, that has protected me and provided for me. And these individuals are speaking against the very nature of my God. But, almost as suddenly as the intense emotion of protection rose up it was quieted. Because, they didn't get it. They didn't understand. They didn't know the nature of God because they didn't know God. They hadn't spent time with Him, in His Word. Because it is an
intimate relationship with God, a knowing of His nature and His Word, that allows us to understand who we are and what we are called to be. it allows for a changing of ourselves to represent who He is. And they had never experienced it.
So often it is easy for us to become upset with those around us, to criticize, point the finger, judge and condemn, hold another individual to a standard we have set for them. We've always been told growing up, or I would assume most have at some point in their lives, that we are to not speak of others unless it is something nice; some have even been told that we are to pray for others, even those who don't show kindness to us. This is hard because it isn't natural. Nothing about this seems or is fun or exciting or seemingly worth our time. But, what if we began to understand that those in our lives or who cross our path don't mean to intentionally hurt or criticize or condemn us, but instead they just haven't come to a place where they get it yet. They haven't learned enough or experienced enough of God's nature to allow a change to take place in their lives. And, until they do, they might not act like Him. But, we can. As hard as it may be naturally, we can.

of marriage...

i went floral shopping with one of my best friends this past week and she mentioned to me how impressed she was at how laid-back i am within the wedding planning process. i should allow everyone to note that my type-a, highly oganized personality could easily make way for an unpleasant planning time for all those involved. my fiance has also mentioned how proud he is at my "laid-backness." with this information, i have come to a conclusion: the wedding is one day. i want to prepare myself for the marriage.
so many women find themselves idolizing a single day, a moment at their wedding that they wait and plan for during the length of their engagement. i can fully acknowledge my guilt in this statement, there have been many moments throughout the planning of the wedding where i have slowly found myself entering a process of thought where i placed my expectations, my needs, and my wishes far above those around me. it was in these moments that i had to remember that it doesn't matter. truly. in one month, in one year, in ten years, i won't remember everything that went wrong or whether or not i was able to find the "exact" shade of grey to perfectly match the invitations, but i will regret treating the people i love most in my life without the proper respect and care. and in this recognition, my attitude and my attention changes to allow the process of celebration be celebratory, not only for myself, for my soon-to-be husband, but for everyone involved.
here is the truth: on the day of your wedding something will happen that was not expected. you can place all your effort in the hope that it will not, but something will. with all of that said, when the wedding day is over and the honeymoon comes to an end, you will live out your daily lives with the person you have chosen to spend the rest of your life with. have you prepared yourself for that? have you planned?
i want our wedding to be representative of the love we have for one another and a celebration with those who have helped us throughout our relationship by providing love, support, and encouragement. but, it is still just a day, and i am far more excited for the rest of our lives together.


In marriage, "if everything the two of you put your hand to prospers, the enemy will try everything he can to cause disagreement and division." - pastor bill

"you don't get positive results with negative motivation. responses that are rewarded will be repeated. " - pastor bill

Of Wish Trees...

In lieu of a guestbook, which I would never read or acknowledge after the wedding, I have found an idea that I hope to use and one that I find beautiful and romantic: The wish tree. I will, of course, tweak it slightly, but the presentation is amazing. I love everything about it. I hope you do too...

Of Wedding Planning...

so, wedding planning has been coming along swimmingly. We have the date, the location, the wedding party selected, my gown, my bridesmaids dresses, the tuxes, the save-the-dates designed by a friend/amazing graphic designer and ordered, the guest list completed, finished both of our registries, and we'll be meeting with the photographer tomorrow and possibly cake testing...whew. it's been such a busy month and a half!

Of Bootcamp and Vegan Influences...

Starting on Tuesday, January 4, 2010, I will be participating in Bootcamp Tulsa - a three day a week, one hour per session workout program aimed at getting an individual into great shape and shedding pounds. The personal goal for this program is a small event called "the first wedding dress fitting" that is scheduled mid-February. I assumed that there is no time like the present to get motivated to look my best, and a trainer who is encouragingly yelling at me might just do the trick.
In conjunction with Bootcamp Tulsa, I have just finished reading a Christmas gift, "The Kind Diet" by Alicia Silverstone, which is quite interesting and informative. The book focuses on Alicia's personal struggle with her weight, her diet, and her skin and how a change in her eating habits and food selection has dramatically changed her life. The reader is then encouraged to attempt one of three lifestyle changes for 4 weeks: (1)Flirting, (2) Vegan, or (3) Superhero. Each suggested lifestyle change attempts to transform the eating habits of the individual by introducing organic and vegan food options into one's diet. "There is no time like the present," I say, "and Alicia, I will take on your challenge." I am now a flirting vegan.


Some really great non-meat, non-dairy substitutes that she recommends are as follows:
Earth Balance Butter Original flavor, Follow Your Heart Cheddar Cheese, Veganaise Grapeseed (mayo substitute), any dinners or soups by Amy's, Tofutti sour cream, Tofutti cream cheese, soy milk or almond milk, whole wheat tortillas, Ezekiel Bread, hummus, any item in Whole Foods' 365 line, fruits, veggies, granola... and there are over 100 pages of vegan recipes for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and even desserts! One recipe that I think looks divine is her homemade peanut butter cups! I was able to find all of these items at Whole Foods, and if you are in search of a grocer or farmer's market in your area you can visit thekindlife.com.

Of Martha Stewart...

I don't know what has come over me - I'm pre-wedding nesting, I presume. I have become obsessed with Martha Stewart's home furnishings and kitchen line at Macy's, which ingeniously includes coordinated bowls, colanders, casserole dishes, spatulas, spice racks, salt and pepper shakers, cutting boards, bedding, glasses of every size, and so much more that I'm smiling just thinking about it all...

Of Wedding Inspirations...

Since the engagement, I have been overwhelmed with color combinations, centerpieces, table linens, decor, dress silhouettes... and the list goes on. But, I continue to come back to the same colors of beige, ivory, buttercream, and champagne...